Son’s car has been truly fixed. I certainly hope so for $1800. I half jokingly said to the mechanic: “It ought to be a brand new engine” He said it pretty much is except for the bottom part. And I had to be the mother and tell my 36year old son, “Don’t drive it like a bat out of Hell!” He pretty much said whatever. He drove himself to work and I went home to a quiet house and was hoping for a relaxing day and try and catch up on all the blog posts that I have not been able to get to. But….

At least my son is working. My 38 year old daughter on the other hand, she is; well I can’t really come up with a very good word to describe her. She has always balked at rules. Whether they be mine, a teacher, pastor or whoever. She still thinks that I should buy all her things she needs. Laundry soap, bath soap, food, personal items, you name it. She won’t look for a job and keep it, then whines about not having any money to get what she needs. Yet she has a cell phone and Cox cable and money to go out and party on. She hangs around with people that are not the best of human kind. The ones that truly do try and be a true friend, she uses until they catch on and won’t have much to do with her. The men in her life are just scary and it scares me to know that they are around my granddaughter. I suspect that the latest man in her life is paying for her phone and cable.

Our granddaughter has been sick with a virus and bronchitis and I have gotten the medicine for her that her medical card will not pay for. I will do that. But, my daughter is not beyond using her as an excuse to force me to try and get the things she wants. I have to really pick and choose what I am willing to do. It gets really tiresome and I know I am whining. I need to let off some steam and I am open to suggestions, comfort and a lot of prayers.

I tried for years to help my daughter out with therapy and money until after awhile of paying her rent and catching it up and then she would get kicked out for whatever reasons, or just leave right after me paying the rent, I had to say enough is enough. Of course most of this was pre-granddaughter. Most of the time I would help her it was because I was her mother and felt like I had to. Other times it was because daughter would pit grandmother and I against each other. She has always done that and my mother would let her. If I tried to explain that to my mother, she would get mad at me and say I was the one doing things all wrong.  Sometimes she still does.  I am weary and trying to fight off depression knocking at my door now. And all this came on after a phone call while I was trying to have a good day.

I had heard about some pictures she had put on her Facebook page. I checked them out, and white trash comes to mind. I know I am being harsh, but I am being honest. I am far from being a saint and I have had my bad moments in my past. I nearly became an alcoholic and I didn’t always hang around with the most pleasant people. And that is what I am trying to get across to her. That she could do better. If she would only try. But she would rather mooch and shop lift and drag my granddaughter to see her parole officer.

Sorry. I probably shouldn’t post this, but maybe it will help me feel better.

Stay Safe and God Bless!

❤