This last six weeks have been a bit stressful for me. Well, for both of us. But probably more for me. We lost one of our two big dogs yesterday. We had to have him put to sleep. He was developing a couple of small lumps under his jaws. I have to admit I didn’t pay too much attention to them until they got about thumb size. We had taken another pet to the vet and had asked about it. She said to keep an eye on them. I also didn’t take time to notice that some other lumps were developing in other areas of his body. Not until he was starting to act a little different and not eating as usual and started losing weight. He was still happy and getting around well.  We finally made an appointment for him with the vet on April 24. She said that he had Lymphoma. She pointed out all of the swollen lumps in his groin area, back of his legs, and at the base of his neck about at the top of the shoulders. She said that he was probably in stage 3 of 4 stages. She gave him about one month. Maybe two. Possibly three, but that was pretty unlikely.

We bought some canned dog food to help give him some extra calories, hopefully, and help him to eat again. He did eat pretty good for several weeks. But about a week or two ago, he started slowing down and began to turn down food. We coaxed him along until this past weekend. He was looking miserable in between his bouts of happy feelings. He had a couple of pretty good days which made me feel bad about wanting to put him asleep. The vet said it was normal for animals, and people too, to feel really good right before they start losing ground big time. I was doing a lot of crying this weekend in between the good outside times. Finally on Tuesday May 30, we made plans with the vet to come to our place after she got done for the day.

I spent part of the day sitting on the floor with Bear. I talked to him, weeped a little, did some things on the computer, weeped a little, worked on a cryptoquote puzzle, and talked to Bear some more when he looked up at me with his beautiful big sad eyes.

It was a long day and I tried not to weep too much when Tom and my son went to dig a hole to bury Bear in.  Son left and the vet came. It was quick and painless for Bear. The vet and I sat on the porch with him and he just rested his head in my hand and was gone. I so miss his smile and loping gracefully along. He was such a beauty to watch as he and Patch would run together and chase rabbits and deer.


2008 Bear showed up as a stray and has lived here for nine years. 

Patch was adopted in 2007, but they are about the same age. One year old here, give or take a few months.


I love Bear’s smile! 

This was taken on May 14. You can see a couple of his lumps on his neck. He was still pretty happy here.

I love you Bear and I miss you.

Poor Patch misses him too. He laid by the grave for a little while. The other two dogs didn’t seem to care one way or the other. Patch has been moping and looking all day today. I am going to cry again, so I am going to wrap this up. I’ve probably went on too long as it is.

Stay Safe and God Bless!



6 responses to “I AM SO IN A SLUMP

  1. I am so very sorry for your loss ~ I know how much your dogs mean to you, tears are falling as I type, the photos of Bear you posted are wonderful. Please take care of yourself, I’m keeping you in my thoughts

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you Roma. I know you know how hard it is too. But I really believe that all animals go to Heaven and I will see them again. I will be a terrible mess when my Sandy goes. She is really my favorite and with me a lot. She even goes to my TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) meetings. I do miss Bear’s smile. 🙂 Take care. Hugs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: It’s Really Hard to Say Goodbye | This Is My Life, Good & Bad·

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